


Killer Clean

by Fargosis



Category: Hannibal (2001), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Hannibal Lecter Tetralogy - Thomas Harris, The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Buffalo Bill is not dead, Comedy, Crossdressing, Francis Dolarhyde is not dead, Funny, Gen, Hannibal is Not a Cannibal, Humor, Jame Gumb is not dead, Maids, Men in drag, Molly Graham - Freeform, Will is happy, maid au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4584081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fargosis/pseuds/Fargosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Graham needed a maid. He got 3, 3 of the most infamous murderers around fronting as a cleaning service, although their pasts are behind them. Can Will keep his new cleaning men, Hannibal, Francis, and Jame under their best  behavior as he trusts them in his home and with his dry-cleaning?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killer Clean

The doorbell at the Graham residence rang, and for once it was not Jack Crawford looking for recruits. No, about a month ago Will Graham had began to look up cleaning services in the area, and he had finally found a bunch suited to his and his family's needs. 3 maids, willing to perform any non-sexual task, including dry cleaning and dog walks. From the looks of their webpage, they seemed like the types who also wouldn't complain when asked to take Will's pack of dogs out to pee at 2 in the morning. Yep, Will was pretty happy with himself for finding such an outstanding team.

That afternoon when the doorbell rang, he was more than overjoyed to open the door and meet the maids. The webpage hadn't lied, but perhaps, it had left some certain details out. Details that would have left Will to second-guess hiring them in the first place. For, standing in front of the ex-FBI agent, were three men, as Will had expected, just perhaps not 3 of the most well-known murderers of his time, Hannibal 'the cannibal' Lecter, Francis Dolarhyde aka 'the tooth fairy', and Jame 'Buffalo Bill' Gumb. It had only been a few years since Francis had been put behind bars thanks to Will, and hadn't Jame only been foiled a year ago? "D-doc-doctor," Will babbled in surprise of seeing his old nemesis again, for the first time in years.

Hannibal smirked. "Yes, and it is quite nice to see you again Will, now if I may ask, would you kindly let me and my colleagues in? We haven't proved yet to leave any one of our past customers dissatisfied, and I'd hate it to make an old friend the first." The other two 'maids' stood neatly behind Hannibal, Jame clearly more confident than Francis, whom seemed to almost cower behind Hannibal. Will rolled his eyes, good to know Hannibal hadn't changed a bit since last they met. He stepped outside the threshold, allowing the three other men to step into his house. Jame followed behind Hannibal, not even looking at Will, barely acknowledging his existence. Francis was more hesitant, and nodded towards Will before turning his head away quickly. "Th-thank you," He struggled to say before scampering inside closely behind the other two. Will was now faced with an interesting predicament, how was he supposed to explain ANY of this to Molly? She had been upset enough when Will went out on a quest to bring Dolarhyde to justice, how on earth was Will supposed to explain to her why Dolarhyde wasn't just in their house, but why they were PAYING him to be there. It would be okay, Will told himself, Molly was at Willy's little league game, they wouldn't be back home for quite some time. Will could think of a perfectly acceptable explanation by then. Or at least he hoped he could. 

"Now," Hannibal began, "about sleeping accommodations, I'm sure you saw on our page that we-"

"There's a guest room upstairs and 2 couches in the living room with extra blankets in the closet, you can have your pick," Will interrupted. By the glower on Hannibal's face, he evidently had not been anticipating an answer from Will quite so sudden

"Jame can have the guest room," Francis blurted. Jame and Hannibal turned to him in surprise, it was unusual for Francis to be so outgoing. But it was not an unpleasant surprise, Jame was more than happy to have a room to himself, and Hannibal had been expecting such preferences from the other two.

"I suppose there's no use in ignoring the elephant in the room," Will finally admitted, rubbing his neck and looking down at the floor in hopes of avoiding eye contact. 

"William please, we are men of business. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance, don't you remember our dear Abigail?" Yes, it was all too true that Hannibal and Will had had an intimate relationship. And honestly seeing Hannibal in his black mini-skirt of a maid uniform was bringing back a few long forgotten feelings. But Will could have smacked Hannibal for bringing Abigail up. He had done his best for some time to drink away the memories and the pain they brought. It had been Molly who had helped Will re-gain control over his life. 

"fine," Will spat, done with this conversation. "But you better keep this house looking spotless, and if I catch anyone of you dirtbags around Willy-"

"Yes yes, of course Will, we wouldn't dream of misplacing a hair on the head of your dear boy, isn't that right?" Hannibal turned to look back at Jame and Francis who both agreed. Will nodded towards them in understanding.

"And don't talk to Molly- Mrs. Graham when she comes home,"

"And just why are we not permitted to socialize with the Mrs.?" Jame asked smugly, "Not scared she'll run away with one of us now? No worries there, although I can understand your concern with Hannibal and 'running away,'" he chuckled. Will glared at Hannibal, despite it being Jame the one who had brought it up. Will was really considering firing them all on the spot, and then lying to Molly about the maids never showing up.

"Because- Beacause...." Will struggled to think of a reasonable response to Jame's question that wouldn't give any of them the upper hand to mess with Will's life. "Because I said so," yes, it was a childish response. But right now the three murderers were in no position to argue, as Will was already cross, and they did have interest in keeping this job and turning profit after all.

Jame grinned slyly, "Yes, I guess you _did_ say so didn't you?" Hannibal lightly nudged Jame, he enjoyed teasing Will and watching Will be teased more than anyone, but enough was enough, and they did have a job to do after all. 

"Any preference to where we store our supplies?" Hannibal asked, they had all helped carry the various mops and brooms and bottles in. Will shook his head no. Hannibal and Jame shrugged. "Very well."

Will placed his hands on his hips, contemplating the reality of this situation. He had three, count'em, **_three_** , convicted killers in his house, wearing maid outfits, being paid by Will to do chores. Exhausted from thought alone, Will plopped himself down in his arm chair, leaving the other three men to clean up the house around Will and his chair.


End file.
